this is only a test.

have you ever been doing something completely mundane and all of the sudden you get filled up?  not like you ate too much, but full in your chest, so you can’t really breathe, but in a good way? 

today I took a package down to the carwash (beautiful warm spring day!), turned out it needed to stay in the office, so I turned around to walk back up.  halfway up the drive I just felt…good.  joy.  full of joy?  is it crazy to say that all of the sudden I just felt awesome and happy and that life is good?

it happened a couple of weeks ago too.  this time I was driving into Lawrence.  Wesley was asleep in the backseat, wilco was on the ipod, and it was snowing.  like, really snowing.  big, huge flakes.  I drove under the bridge in east lawrence, and as I came out everything went to slow motion, and I felt it.  just, full of joy.  it was like someone had pushed pause and everything was ok, better than ok. 

before that, it happened once before (that I remember).  I was working in the office, mopping the floor actually, and there was music playing, something pandora.  all of the sudden, I was just happy.  I felt so good, like I could do or be anything, and that life was wonderful.

for a long time in my life I think I forgot to be happy.  and now I’m being jump-started.

I like it.